Love My Girls

So I was told this is National Girlfriend Week. So today I am honoring my girlfriends. By the way my kids get a kick out of me referring to me friends as my girlfriends! LOL

I don't know where I would be without my girls. They are always there to listen to me whine and let me vent about little things and BIG things. They have no problems dropping what they are doing to conduct an EMNO (emergency mom's night out). Whether it is a shot of vodka, a batter bowl, or a sympathetic ear to listen, my girls are there. It wasn't too long ago I had just moved here and had no one. Barely had a babysitter, Mike deployed and no friends. M~ popped in from Spain and took care of the kiddos and me. Then as if fate knew what I needed S~, B~ and K~ swooped in and gave me the friendship I had been looking for. My girls rock! They know how to have a good time and make a girl feel loved! Thanks Ladies!!!!!!

Who Do You Honor?

You never know where you are going until you have passed your exit! I hate that feeling of "I told you so!"

That feeling of anger and betrayal has swept over me and now I am sitting here to sort it all out and deal with it. I can not understand how a person can be so self absorbed that they constantly look over other's needs for their own. And their own needs aren't even needs, just a desire for other's around them to see them as they need to be seen.

In the last year or so I have been aware that too many times I give up my wants (and even my needs) for others. I find myself not speaking up to avoid others from feeling uneasy or uncomfortable. I tell myself after the fact, at what point do I matter? Last week was the last time. I, in consideration of other's comfort, did not speak up, and my children paid the price. It was a learning experience for me, one I will never forget or lose sight of.

I may no longer have a relationship with my mother, but my bond with my children, my commitment to my children and to MY family is stronger than ever.

I received an email from my father, it was a reply to an email I sent him thanking him for all he has done for me and my children. His response was "it is my honor to have the chance to be a dad to all 3 of you. I honor a great man every time I have a chance to do “dad” things, I had a great dad, I just try to measure up to him. "

I too, have had great people in my life. I have a dad who gave all he had - then dug down deep to find even more - sacrificed and didn't give up, all to give me a life and an upbringing that was ACES!

I had grandparents that loved me and provided love and safety for me.

There is one very special person though, who gave me something I can never explain why, nor can I ever comprehend the impact it had on me and continues to have on me. She gave me unconditional love - when it wasn't in her job description to do so. She kept loving and supporting me, even in my nasty, hateful teenage years. No matter what I threw at her, she waited and loved. She was always there, some how knowing where we would all end up. She has loved my babies and cared for them as the priceless loveys they are. She never took me for granted, but always granted me her love. Though I do not call her Mom, that is what she is. I honor her for all the things she has taught me, for all the times she did the hard things - the things she didn't have to do. I honor her for who she CHOSE to be.

Georgia on my mind...along with other things

Well school is in full swing. Rae is loving 1st grade and Ben is as happy as can be in preschool.

I am still struggling trying to get our house organized. My list grows by the minute and I fear if I really took the time to write it all out I would run away and never look back, leaving my family to live off of Cheetos and frozen pizza while sleeping in piles of laundry....so I stay put.

Don't even get me started on all the projects that I want done around the house. Of course with Mike leaving in November and the extra money coming in, maybe I could actually hire someone to do it!

Next week we will be heading to Georgia for family Thanksgiving...I KNOW IT IS SEPTEMBER!!! It always proves to be a good time!

It Has Been Awhile

So the summer is finally winding down. The kiddos will start school next Tuesday and they are beyond excited. Ben has his teacher meet and greet last night and Raegen will have hers this afternoon.

Mike dropped a bomb on me last week. He will be going to Afghanistan. He will leave in November for 3 months of training in Kansas and then off to Afghanistan for 12 months. For about a week I was pretty numb to it. I know the Navy and know how things can change. Yesterday, however, he let me know that it is a go. So now I am in panic mode trying to figure out everything I need to do before he leaves. We haven't told the kids yet, and I am not sure how I am going to tell them or when I am going to tell them. I am just hoping I can find the strength to be a good mom, friend, sister, daughter and sailor, all while being good to myself while Mike is gone. I know we will all be fine, but the stress is always there.

We are still frustrated with everything going on with Raegen. Her diabetes test came back negative, but that just puts us back at square one. She is still experiencing day time accidents, tummy aches, constant hunger and thirst, fuzzy eyes, weight gain, and now tingling arms and legs. The next step is to test her for thyroid dysfunction. I hate seeing my little girl so miserable and unsure of why she feels the way she does. So we just keep pushing for answers.

Well, I need to get off the computer and clean my house and get Rae's school supplies around.

Till I type again....

Monday Blues

It is 4:30am and I am sitting at work....BLAH!!! My weekends are going by so fast that I swear someone is screwing with me! I guess fast weekends are a sure sign of being a grown up!

Mike has a new work schedule and let me tell you it is taking a toll on all of us. Granted, Mike is the one with the screwing sleep cycle, but the kids and I are also feeling the effects. We will go 4 days and only see Mike for a total of 6-8 hours. Saturday, Mike got home at 6am. I took the kiddos to the library and then to the park. I was trying to keep the house quiet so Daddy could sleep. Then off to work he went again. I swear I didn't accomplish a dang thing on Saturday except to keep the kids alive and fed (what more could they ask for, right?). LOL Sunday Mike slept till 12:30 then again from 3pm-6om. I was able to get 1 load of laundry done as well as my kitchen and bathroom floors.

The kids are starting to show more interest in helping out around the house. I am very open to it and try to let them help where they want. It may take a little longer, but if I don't let them then their interest will fade and when they truly are able to help then I will be screwed!

So once again, life is flying by and I am hanging on with all that I have (which a on some days isn't much)!

I wanted to give a shout out to Sharon on her big 3-0!!!!! Rock It Girl!!!! Hope your birthday is Super Fantastic!

Till I write again.....

Running for Pres.....

Life is Busy!!!!!

Not much time to blog, but wanted to let my fans (yes I know there is only one or two of you out there, but who am I to disappoint) know I am alive. Work has been crazy...so much for a laid back command. These idiots are driving me crazy with all of there crap!

Home is good. Mike started a new schedule and I have to say, it sucks! Oh well, it is his job and I need to toughen up, but as my friend Sharon would say "Ding Dang, yall!"

Raegen and Ben are getting excited about school. Rea will be starting 1st grade. She is so excited that she will be eating lunch at school with her friends this year. Here's hoping she is just as excited about math and reading. Ben will be going to preschool 4 days a week and can't wait to see all his friends from last year.

Catch up with you all later!